Reaching for Balance

I am often struck by how easily I get out of  balance.  Too much activity, not enough quiet time, too much quiet time not enough connection.  Too much work, not enough play.  East coast living supports an"all work no play" mentality, at least from my perspective.  I am a native northern Californian, from a small city that was primarily agricultural based, the mid-west of California as I like to describe my humble roots.  My family settled California in the late 1700's to the mid 1800's.  We were not gold miners, but land owners....and gamblers.  Nothing of the land grant existed by the time I was born, but  a sense of belonging to the land remains with me to this day, east coast transplant that I am.  Growing up it was an easier time...where have I heard that before?  Of course in part because, one, I was a kid.  What did I have to think about except play, school work, and summer.  And two, the times in the 1960's though politically turbulent were slower. Stores closed most evenings by 6:00, except on Thursdays, and of course on Sunday everything shut down.  We had less options, we had less choices.  More limitations meant that there was time to stop and re-balance, or so I make up.  All this is to say we've lost most external boundaries that helped create a pacing that is more reasonable to the human body. We can shop 24/7 thanks to the internet, we can work just as much, and some people do.  I have clients who even in retirement cannot give themselves permission to stay in one place, though they long to enjoy their home and friends.  Instead they are forever running to this event or that.  They come in expressing fatigue, pain and a lack of time to do their exercise program because of this ridiculous pace.  Each time I remind them they are making a choice but it seems to go into a void.  What is it about slowing down long enought to examine our choice to stay so revved up?  Why is it difficult if not seemingly impossible for us to get off the merry-go-round once a month, once a week, once a day?  What value system says it is better for us to keep doing, producing, and consuming and expecting this state of "balance" will create health and well being?  Why do we resist our humanity in such a way as to try to perform like machines?

I have some ideas, perhaps it is the culture we live in, the need to compete with the pace of all the electronic devices we use.   Maybe it is our puritanical work ethic, or  the high price of goods or our out of need to consume.  The bottom line is we are moving way too fast and the pace is effecting our well-being.  Trying to take on big lifestyle changes can, in and of  themselves, add stress, but sometimes just changing one thing, can help us shift into a more balanced place with little pain or effort.

Mindfulness can be a way to slow down without actually changing what you are doing.  Being mindful is being present with whatever it is that you are doing.  Mindfulness asks that you be present to yourself and the task at hand. If you are washing dishes then your focus is on the water on your hands, the suds, the texture of the sponge or dish cloth you are using, the colors of the dishes you are washing.  Your mind naturally starts to wander about a disagreement you had earlier in the day and bam you are no longer just washing dishes you are now sometime in the past working it out.  You notice this and come back to washing dishes without judgement, of course.  Do you find yourself in the car a lot commuting or being the family taxi?  If so take some moments while you drive and turn off the radio or other distractions and simply drive. Feel yourself seated in the car, the steering wheel held by your hands, notice the sites around you, be with what you are doing, driving.  If by chance you are stuck in traffic, a common occurrence around these parts, instead of getting upset or anxious try to look at the time as a moment or two or three to rest into yourself and be with.  Explore the idea of letting go of the day's issues and just be behind the wheel of your car.

Research has shown that mindfulness lowers blood pressure and heart rates while at the same time it increases the feel good hormones and diminishes the stress hormones.  It does a lot more than this but that is for another day.   When you simply choose to be with whatever activity you are doing you are "re-balancing" your life in that moment.  And each moment you re-balance is like water in the bucket towards shifting your health and well-being in a positive direction.

Of course making a larger commitment to regular meditation, or some form of a body-awareness exercise program, i.e. yoga, tai chi, walking, can really boost the results of re-balancing. But if that seems like too much, for now start with one mindful activity a day and see where that leads.